


I Won't Break

by CarpeDentum



Series: You can't expect me to just change [2]
Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Porn With Plot, Sad Fluff, Stony - Freeform, Superhusbands, unrequited feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-09
Updated: 2013-06-09
Packaged: 2017-12-14 10:22:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/835827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarpeDentum/pseuds/CarpeDentum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve wants to feel, Tony wants to fuck. Steve wants to give Tony what he wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Won't Break

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Amethystina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amethystina/gifts).



> This is a companion piece to Come Fly With Me and is written about one of the moments mentioned in it. You don't have to read that first but you get a better sense of things if you have.
> 
> This is once again for [Amethystina](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Amethystina/pseuds/Amethystina). She pretty much told me to write more since the last piece didn't end very happily. I'm sorry to disappoint, she will most likely kill me after this.

It had been going on for a while now. Every night when Steve was getting ready for bed Tony entered his bedroom. The first time Steve had been surprised. Tony hadn’t met him in the corridor outside for the kiss he always wanted before bedtime and Steve had figured it was over now, that things would go back to usual. He had been wrong. Tony didn’t say anything when he came in, no smart comments or sassy jokes. He’d simply walked up to Steve and pulled him down into a by now familiar kiss. Still, something had been different about it, rawer, more needy somehow. Before long it had turned heated and Steve had ended up with Tony’s legs wrapped around him, pressing the man up against the wall, the two of them moving together until they reached satisfaction. Afterwards Tony had kissed him, buttoned his jeans again and left.

 

That was five months ago now. It happened almost every night. It was always hard, fast. Almost desperate. After three weeks of it Tony didn’t bother leaving the room anymore. He just stayed and slept in there, exhausted. It was somewhere around then things had changed. At least for Steve. He began feeling a tingle of anticipation the second he closed his bedroom door to change into his pajamas. Most of the time he didn’t even get to take off his shirt before Tony came in, always quiet so none of the others would hear. It didn’t matter to Steve but apparently it did to Tony.

 

It was the same this evening. Steve had closed the door after calling good night to everyone else and he had barely stepped into the room before Tony was there. He offered the man a smile and was rewarded with one back.

 

“Hey…” It was the first time either of them said anything but good night once it was all over. Steve felt like the weight of the word settled around him. Which was insane. Why shouldn’t he be able to greet Tony when he entered Steve’s room? Tony didn’t say anything though. He just offered a crooked smile and moved closer. Steve knew that look, the look that usually meant it would be extra rough. And suddenly that wasn’t what Steve wanted. At all.

  
To be honest it wasn’t really sudden. He had thought about how nice it would be to slow down, to savour it and maybe even talk about things. Because Steve needed to talk. They were not going anywhere and Steve had found that sometimes he wanted to kiss Tony even if the other’s were around. He wanted to go have a dinner out with him sometime, maybe even call it a date. He wanted to hold hands while catching up on the big movies since the 40’s and he wanted to learn how to dance, damn it. So he tried again.

 

“How’s your day been?” He said softly as Tony reached him and begun kissing along his jaw, once in a while nipping at the skin. “Haven’t seen you around much.”

 

“Less talking, more action, Cap.” Tony said with a chuckle and glanced up at Steve for a moment before pulling him down into a kiss. Steve leaned down willingly. It wasn’t as if he didn’t want to spend another evening having sex with Tony. He simply wanted to do something different this time. Steve moved his hands slowly up under Tony’s shirt, feeling the strong muscles on his back beneath his fingers. Tony might not be as big as Steve or Thor or as agile as Clint and Natasha but he was by no means weak and to feel those muscles ripple when Tony moved was almost erotic.

 

Tony kept trying to deepen the kiss, but Steve kept it light, almost tender. He could feel how impatient Tony was getting, gripping Steve’s hips harder, pulling their bodies close. Steve let Tony pull his shirt off, gladly did the same to him. He carefully stayed clear of the center of Tony’s chest. Didn’t want to accidentally disturb something. He found himself pushed back against the bed and fell back on it with a soft oof. Steve looked up at Tony and couldn’t help a grin when he was straddled. Tony quickly leaned down to start kissing over Steve’s chest. It felt nice, really nice. Steve reached up to tangle his fingers into Tony’s hair just as he felt the first bite. His breath hitched and he could feel teeth digging into his skin a little further up, closer to his throat.

 

“Tony…” he attempted, the name coming out more like a groan than anything else. Which didn’t make the other man stop at all. Another bite, this time over his collar bone, sharp pain that faded just as quickly as it came. He wasn’t worried, it wasn’t as if Tony could hurt him. And it did feel really, really good. His fingers tightened in Tony’s hair, tugging slightly in a way he knew his lover liked. He could feel Tony smile against his skin, lips close to a nipple. Steve closed his eyes and felt Tony bite down again, making Steve let out a strangled cry.

 

But this was not what he had been aiming for today. Steve took a deep breath and used his strength to his advantage and turned them around, carefully pushing Tony down against the mattress. Tony looked up at him, obviously amused that Steve was taking charge. He never really did. But whatever Tony had expected it didn’t seem to have been what happened, if you were to judge by the surprised look on his face. But Steve just wanted to take it slow, to savour the moment and get to know Tony’s body fully and feel Tony get to know his. He wanted to let his fingers move over every piece of skin, take his time to kiss from Tony’s knee up his thigh, taste and explore all the sensitive spots on his lover’s body. And there was no time like now to get started. He moved to press a gentle kiss to Tony’s lips, feeling the other man tense with anticipation beneath him. He kept his movements slow, light as he moved down Tony’s neck, one of his hands travelling up the man’s side.

 

He could tell when Tony tired of his ministrations, the strong body starting to squirm against the sheets, pushing up against him. Steve put a hand on Tony’s hip to slow things down again. He really just wanted to take some time with this. Maybe there could be something more. Steve had been afraid of letting himself feel more because he hadn’t known what Tony would think. But now he was taking a chance.

 

Steve looked up at Tony with a small smile, leaning down to nuzzle into his neck, taking a deep breath, trying to tell Tony to relax and enjoy himself using only touch. It didn’t really work. Tony was making an impatient noise and tugged at Steve’s hair. But Steve didn’t want to believe this couldn’t be. So he used gentle hands to caress Tony’s torso. Maybe this time they could take it a little slower.

 

“Come on, Cap. I won’t break.” Tony’s frustrated voice cut through the relative silence of the room. Steve stilled and looked up at the other man, seeing his confusion, his lust but also that distance that had been there since the beginning, the distance he wouldn’t let Steve cross. Steve pulled back a bit and licked his lips. Tony didn’t want this, didn’t want to do anything slow. Not now, maybe not ever. And Tony said Cap. It hadn’t occurred to Steve before that he had only called him by his name once. That first kiss when he was drunk and said good night.

 

They just looked at each other for a moment, Tony no doubt wondering what was going on and Steve frantically trying to figure out where to go from here. It was most likely only a couple of seconds but for Steve it felt like the moment stretched out for eons. He felt crushed at the same time as he didn’t want to stop, didn’t want to have to not be with Tony any more. So in the end he leaned down, lips right next to Tony’s ear, brushing against it as he spoke.

 

“If you want something to happen, Stark… You have to take the control from me.” His voice was low, husky even. He could hear Tony’s sharp intake of breath and feel the hands gripping his arse, pushing their hips together. He turned it into a game. Calmed Tony. It hadn’t been affection, just another twist to this game they were playing.

 

And it seemed to work. Tony let out a soft growl like sound and used all his strength to flip them over again. Steve could have resisted but he didn’t. He flopped over on his back and pulled Tony with him, one hand in his dark hair so he could move them both into a kiss. This time he went for deep and almost furious right away and now Tony was right there with him. Their bodies soon found a familiar rhythm, moving together, pushing to and apart.

 

Steve moved his fingers down to open Tony’s jeans, push them down and out of the way. He could tell Tony was kicking them completely off while he focused on removing his own jeans as well. This was actually more undressed than they usually managed. The only light in the room was the faint glow from the arc reactor and when Steve opened his eyes he could see the defined muscles of Tony’s chest and the way his own rose and fell with his shallow breaths. Steve pushed himself up into a sitting position, Tony going along with it easily, sliding his legs around Steve’s hips. They fit together so well like this, lips fused together, chests close. Steve loved the feeling of the arc reactor scratching against his skin. Made him feel like it was really happening.

 

Tony’s hands moved down Steve’s sides and then up to push at his shoulders to make him lie down again. Steve fell back against the mattress, once again looking up at Tony who was still sitting up. For a few short seconds they just looked at each other and then Tony started rocking his hips, rubbing up against Steve just right. Steve groaned and closed his eyes, hands finding Tony’s hips, holding them tight and making sure they found the right pressure. The movements were frantic, almost like a teenage fumble for release. Tony leaned down to kiss Steve again, mostly to muffle their sounds so they wouldn’t alert anyone else to their activities. Steve started pushing at Tony’s underwear to get them out of the way, managing to just get them down under the man’s hips. He felt Tony’s hand in his hair, tugging his head back. Tony’s lips on his throat and Steve couldn’t get his own underwear down fast enough, not bothering with getting them past his knees. His hands landed on Tony’s ass, guiding their way back into the right pace and pressure.

 

The room filled with the sound of skin sliding against skin, lips meeting and parting again, soft moans, muffled by skin. They moved with what was by now a familiar urgency. But Steve felt a desperation that hadn’t been there before. This was the only way he could have Tony and right now he needed it like he needed the air he breathed. But just the way they rubbed up against each other wasn’t enough. Steve moaned against Tony’s lips, his grip on the man’s hips almost bruising from frustration of everything feeling so good but not getting him quite there.

 

Steve reached out with one hand, knocking against his glass of water before managing to open the drawer. The way Tony bit down at his shoulder distracted him for a second but he found the tube he was looking for soon enough. He could feel Tony’s smirk against his skin when he opened the tube and got some lube onto his fingers. Steve reached down to first coat Tony’s erection with it and then his own. Then he took them both in his hand, he was very grateful for the big hands the serum had granted him sometimes, and stroked them together. Tony muffled a cry with another bite and Steve pulled him up into a breathless kiss.

 

It went fast from there. The movements were frantic, the kisses sloppy and breathless. They were not as quiet as they should be but at this point it didn’t matter. Steve didn’t understand why Tony kept worrying about that anyway.

 

“Oh fuck, Cap.” Tony’s voice cut through the other noise and made Steve shiver. He sounded absolutely broken, in the best way possible. His grip around them tightened slightly and after that there was no turning back. Steve tensed up, blindly searching for Tony’s lips as he came. He continued to stroke, even if he lost rhythm, until he could feel Tony’s release as well.

 

Afterwards a strange kind of silence settled over the room, blanketing them until their ragged breaths seemed loud enough to wake everyone else in the house. They stayed like that for a little while. Not cuddling, never cuddling. Just Tony staying on top of Steve until he’d caught his breath. Steve watched him reach out for the tissues Steve had taken to keep beside his bed and then watched as he cleaned them both up. The ruffling of sheets as they both pulled their underwear back on seemed to build up the distance between them even more. Tony didn’t even bother getting under the covers and just fell asleep curled up on his side, back to Steve. His light snores taking over where before there had been muffled moans.

 

Steve watched the way Tony’s shoulders moved slightly with each breath. He didn’t know how long he laid there, awake and simply watching the other man. This was what they were. Quick release and then nothing. Steve hesitated before reaching out, placing his hand between Tony’s shoulder blades, just to be able to touch him without it being for sex. He lay like that for a long time before he shuffled closer. It didn’t take much movement before he could feel Tony’s back against his chest, their hips fitting together, thighs pressed against each other. Steve carefully put his arm over Tony’s middle, hoping he wouldn’t wake the other up. He closed his eyes tightly as his throat choked up.

 

“I’m sorry, Tony.” he whispered against the other man’s neck. He was sorry he couldn’t be exactly what Tony seemed to want him to. But he would try because losing any bit of Tony he could have would hurt too much. Maybe one day things could change, they could change. And with that thought Steve drifted off to sleep.


End file.
